I'm going to Texas with you
by rukelover
Summary: Luke accompanies Dr. Oliver to his hearing in Texas and they get really close.
1. Chapter 1

Luke sighed as he opened the trunk to take out the luggage. He placed both suitcases on the floor and looked up shielding his eyes against the sun with his hand. The deep orange evening sun was hanging in a clear blue sky and a chilly wind was blowing. Though he had no idea what was awaiting him the next days, the spirit of departure filled him with a big happiness and relief.

It was good to be going, the rest he didn't really care about.

With a swift move he slammed the door of the trunk shut and turned around.

''Ready?'' he asked holding out one of the bags.

stuffed the small box of candy into his pocket and grabbed the suitcase from Luke's hand.

* * *

''How many do you actually have in there?'' Luke lifted his head up from his newspaper and looked at the candy box was constantly flipping over on the folding table in front of him.

''Since we left in Oakdale you must have eaten at least 5 dozen of those.''

''Well it's empty now.'' Dr. Oliver lifted the small blue box shaking it for emphasis.

''You're really nervous.'' Luke folded the newspaper and turned around until he was facing the other man.''

''Of course I am. My whole future is at stake and there is nothing I can do but wait for it to happen. It drives me crazy.'' He paused and turned around to stare at the half open window panel.

''Everything I have could be gone tomorrow. Medicine is the only thing I deeply care about. Everything else is so small to me so unimportant. I just can't lose it.''

Luke unfastened his seatbelt and moved through the small aisle to sit down across Dr. Oliver.

''You're not going to.'' he said insistently, holding 's gaze.

''You just have to fight for it that's all.''

''This is not in my hand.'' Dr. Oliver turned around to face Luke and shook his head. '' After all it's someone else who'll make the call. I'm not used to that. In my area of expertise I've known my way around like no one else. Ever since I started working as a surgeon I have not once found myself in a situation where I was not absolutely sure and confident about my next step. I can't handle this.''

Luke just nodded without saying anything and waited for Dr. Oliver to go on.

''I had to fight really hard to get where I am now. It was not always easy and there were times I thought I'd probably not make it but I knew exactly where I wanted to be and I just did not give up until I was there. I put everything I had into building up what I have. I didn't come such a long way to have it all taken away from me now.''

''Then don't give up now either. Just don't stop until you have it back.'' Luke smiled and followed Dr. Oliver with his gaze to prevent him from looking away as he smiled encouragingly.

* * *

Luke gasped for air as he tried to keep up with Dr. Oliver's pace. After his tense and much too fast drive out here to the hospital he had jumped out of the car barely waiting for Luke to catch up with him.

The hospital was a quite modern, huge building composed of grey glazed cubes and a lot of stairs and somehow Luke wondered why none of them seemed to be the entrance they were heading to.

As they finally rushed through the sliding doors Luke had to watch out not to collide with the busy crowd pushing through the hall. Probably the evening change of shifts he guessed as he followed Dr. Oliver into one of the side corridors.

''You can wait here.'' the strained voice pulled Luke out of his sightseeing trance.

Dr. Oliver was pointing towards an empty waiting area in a corner.

''I won't be long.''

Luke dropped himself onto the middle chair fixing his eyes on the door Dr. Oliver had just disappeared through. At least there was a coffee machine he thought to himself as he began searching his pockets for change. The sound of the coins sliding through the vending machine was surreally loud since there was nothing else to be heard around. When he sat down again he could hear two people speak behind the door. He didn't understand what they were saying but one of them sounded a mix of strained and angry while the other voice had an appeasing tone.

Luke was just about to get up and step closer to the door when it opened and Dr. Oliver stormed out.

''We're leaving.'' he said and headed for the exit without waiting for Luke to get up.

* * *

Luke closed the door of the two bedroom suite behind them and held his steps as he watched Dr. Oliver head straight for the mini bar. He reached for a glass and a small bottle of vodka. After throwing some ice into the drink he emptied it in one draw not even bothering to sit down.

''You're not planning to get drunk are you.'' Luke was now standing right beside him and looked a little worried.

Dr. Oliver shook his head looking genuinely surprised. ''Why would I do that I have a lot of work waiting for me.''

''Good.'' Luke threw his coat on the bed beside them and watched Dr. Oliver open the black briefcase.

He picked up a folder and held it out to Luke.

''Could you hold this please?''

''Mr. Snyder?'' he insisted as Luke didn't react.

''Yeah sorry.'' Luke reached out for the folder

''You know I think it's kind of weird that you still call me Mr. Snyder. How come you do that?''

''Why wouldn't I?''

''You call Noah by his first name.' 'Luke said pulling away the folder he was about to hand over.

''That's a simple well defined relationship. Patient and doctor.''

''What does that make us then?'' Luke stepped closer and looked at Reid with a provoking smile.

Dr. Oliver frowned at this unexpected question. He looked at Luke trying to figure out what he was trying to do until he finally said:

''That makes us two people who are helping each other to get back the most important thing in their lives. I am your best bet to help Noah and you're mine to get back my career.''

''Two people who hold each other's live in their hands.'' Luke smiled broader and his eyes began to sparkle.

Dr. Oliver frowned again and reached for the folder that Luke was now holding out to him again.

''I have to have a look at those now.''

''Actually I think we think we should go out to have dinner. Now it's still pretty early and if you plan on going over those folders all night I'm sure you'll get hungry at some point.''

It did not take Luke long to sell his idea and he just quickly left for his room to change into some new clothes. When he came back a minute later he could see that the door to the other bedroom was only half closed and he held his steps leaning slightly forward.

Through the three Inch gap he could see moving in the dim light. He was topless and his skin was glowing in the orange brown light of the bedside lamp. When he turned around to reach for his shirt Luke could see the almost healed bruises from the attack a couple of weeks ago.

Just beneath his left collarbone there was a small scar and Luke squinted as he wondered where it might come from. threw the shirt he had just grabbed on the bed and reached down to undo his belt. He quickly shimmied out of his pants and leaned over the bed to pick up a new jeans. Luke was still standing at the same spot his eyes travelling up and down 's chest and then dropped to his hips. The fabric of his dark grey underwear looked soft and was fitting quite tight to his skin.

When turned around abruptly Luke quickly took a step back and quietly walked back into his room waiting for Dr. Oliver to be ready.

* * *

''So this is where you eat when you actually sit down for it.''

Luke closed the door behind them and took a look around. It was a small room divided in lower and higher ground level with about a dozen of wooden tables. The floor was dark wood as well and the walls were orange with pop art pictures on them. The bar was in the middle of the room and occupied up to the last space.

The waitress pointed them towards a table in the corner and rushed off again to pick up an order across the room.

''Yes this is where I eat when I have the time to sit down. They have excellent cheeseburgers by the way.''

Dr. Oliver peeled out of his coat and sat down.

Luke took a brief look at the menu displayed under a plastic table cloth but actually he had already decided that he would go for the cheeseburger.

The heels of her pink shoes were clacking on the wooden floor as the young girl approached their table to take their order.

''A beer and cheeseburger please.''

''For me too only I take a coke instead of the beer.'' Luke leaned forward placing his arms on the table.

''You don't drink?'' Dr. Oliver looked surprised.

''Well I can't really. I had a kidney transplant a few years ago.''

‚''Oh.'' Dr. Oliver paused and nodded slightly. '' A hereditary disease?''

Luke shook his head.

''It was an infection. Anyway I'm not supposed to drink and I take that kind of seriously now since I nearly messed up big time not so long ago.''

''What happened?''

''Well I was going through a rough period since I had been expelled from university and I could not really handle losing something that was so important to me and then the despise of my family for what I had done so I started drinking way too much.''

''I had no idea you went to university. What did you study?''

''Screenwriting.''

Luke was slightly puzzled as he saw the curious expression on Dr. Oliver's turn into a huge smile.

‚'What?'' he asked smiling as well now.

''Nothing it's just weird to learn all those things about you. That's not at all what I thought you were like when we first met.'' Dr. Oliver took a sip of his beer still smiling to himself.

''I really thought you were just another bored rich kid killing time pointlessly spending daddy's money.''

''Yeah well you surely didn't raise any doubts about that.''

Their laughter was interrupted by the waitress placing their food in front of them. Eating mostly in silence, they just occasionally shared a small joke or a smile.

''What happened to the writing?'' Dr. Oliver asked as he put down his coffee.

It took Luke a moment until he got what the question was about.

‚''Well I've never really had the time even to worry about that part of my life actually. It was a rough time all together and I kept doing stupid things back then nearly gambling the respect and love of so many people I care about. It was also a very rough time for Noah and me. I was just so happy I could patch it up with my parents and Noah that the writing somehow got into the background I guess.''

''Was he your first lover?'' Normally this question would have irritated Luke but for some reason he didn't think it strange at all tonight and just nodded.

''What about you?'' the relaxed and easy mood of the evening made Luke confident enough to ask a question he would probably not have asked otherwise.

''Have you ever been really in love?''

''Actually was someone I really cared about but somehow we could not make it work and looking back I have to say that it was mainly my fault. I could just never really figure out how to treat him right and instead I kept hurting him with my cold and sometimes patronizing behavior whenever things got too emotional.

We were really attached to one another and we tried to make it work for a long time but by the time I had finally figured out how badly I had let him down it was too late to fix anything.''

Luke held 's gaze for a few seconds before he smiled.

''That was actually the only person ever I cared enough about to say that I was in love.'' Dr. Oliver added smiling back at Luke

* * *

''Don't tell me you're going to go over those folders now.'' Luke locked the door and turned around to place the key on the dresser.

‚''Why not. It needs to be done.''

Luke walked across the room until he was facing Dr. Oliver.

''Are you not familiar with the concept of leaving the party when you're having the best time?'''

''What the hell are you talking about?''

''Well would you rather go to sleep now and be at ease after a nice and cozy night out or would you like to get all edgy again before going to bed?''

''I doubt it's as simple as that.''

‚'It actually is.'' Luke smiled and nodded his head as he stepped a little closer.

''The hearing is only in the afternoon and you would only have to overcome your own urge of perfectionism and let this wait till the morning.'' he waved his head into the direction of the open briefcase.

''Probably you're right. I really had a good time'' Dr. Oliver turned around to snap the briefcase closed. When he turned back again Luke was still standing in front of him smiling and his eyes sparkling with whatever it was that delighted him so much. He wanted to step to the side to walk towards the bathroom but somehow he could not look away from this smile.

Dr. Oliver tried to gather his thoughts but he was just hypnotized by the pair of brown eyes that was now openly checking him out.

His brain immediately went back into alert when Luke's lips touched his own. This was not supposed to happen and he would have to end it right now. But instead his hands instinctively went around Luke's back and dug into his hair. Maybe he would just kiss him for another minute he could pull away at anytime and no harm would be done if this lasted just another few seconds.

But then Luke shifted grinding their hips together and Dr. Oliver felt a rush of fire shooting through his body. The kiss turned from gentle into passionate and Reid felt the blood rush to the lower part of his body as Luke slid his finger under the waistband of his jeans urging their hips closer together. Still kissing Luke walked them both to the bed and pushed Reid on his back lying down on top of him.

After a few minutes Luke broke the kiss to catch his breath, resting his head against Reid's chest. Reid took advantage of the moment to flip them and pull Luke's shirt over his head.

He bent down to briefly suck at the skin of Luke's neck before he reached between them to hastily undo Luke's belt and the button of his jeans. After a while of just looking at the body beneath him he bent down again to kiss his way over Luke's chest and shoulders before he sat upright to get rid of his own shirt. Still straddling him he reached down to slowly run his right thumb over Luke's stomach and along the waistband of his pants. Luke lifted his hand to place them at either side of Reid's hips. He ran them around to his lower back and all the way up his sides urging him down again. As their faces were just an inch away Luke pulled him in for another kiss; long and passionate until neither of them could really breathe anymore. Their hands remained buried in each other's hair as they pulled apart and just held eye contact for a short moment.

After another kiss they flipped on their sides entwining their legs, their arms around each other's back. Luke ran his free hand from his neck over his shoulders and down his arm not once breaking eye contact with his lover. When Luke undid his belt with one hand and reached into his underwear Reid closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. As Luke's warm hands touched the soft skin of his erection with a firm but tender grip a flash of bright light tore through his brain and he just sighed deeply reaching around Luke's neck to steady himself. He felt their hearts beating against each other's chest and Luke briefly let go of him to shove down his jeans and then struggled out of his own. When he was done Luke pushed Reid down on his back again and started to lick over his lips and on to his neck, his chest and down to his stomach. Reid arched his back as he dipped his tongue into his navel and Luke reached out to steady his hips before he moved further down and wrapped his lips around his erection.

The moan coming from Reid went straight through Luke's body from the heart right down his spine.

Reid arched his back again and Luke tightened his grip his fingers almost digging into the soft skin.

''Oh Jesus.'' Reid was trying to catch his breath to speak.

''Luke.'' he paused for a moment panting heavily.

''Luke. I want to hold you when I come.''

Luke pulled away from him and moved up holding Reid's gaze as he lay down beside him. Reid placed his left arm around Luke's shoulder and back pulling him against his chest. When their bodies were connected from lips to entwined legs he reached down between them and began to stroke Luke in a slow steady rhythm. Luke moved slightly forward pressing their bodies even closer together as he reached down as well.

When he felt that he was close Reid loosened his grip. He rested his head against Luke's shoulders and softly sighed his name as he came. Still breathing heavily he reached out and started to stroke Luke again who came just a few moments later. When their breathing had calmed a bit they reached out for one another and came down from their height with a long tender kiss. Suddenly Reid felt a cool brush o fair on his burning skin and he reached beside them to pull the covers around their bodies.

**I had the idea of this fic and absolutely had to realize it even though I must admit that along the way it was sometimes really hard to get it exactly the way I wanted it to be. I would be happy to hear what you think : ) **


	2. Chapter 2

When Luke woke up his first impulse was to shift back and snuggle up against the body he was expecting to lie on the other side of the bed. Instead he found covers pushed aside and cold, exposed sheets.  
Slowly focusing he sat upright on the mattress and looked around the room. The window was tilted and the sun was reflecting in the glazed front of the building across the street. He turned his head towards the nightstand to catch a glance at the alarm clock. 09.55 the large green letters read.  
After casually putting on some clothes he found here and there he walked into the hall and over to the second bedroom.  
''Why did you not wake me up?'' he asked leaning against the doorframe.  
Dr. Oliver looked slightly puzzled as the sudden sound pulled him out of his concentration.  
''Well I could actually use some alone time going over the files.'' he said immediately turning his head back again.  
''I don't like being interrupted when I work.''  
Luke stepped closer into the room his hands in his pocket.  
''Well I guess there is no time for breakfast anymore.''  
Not looking up from his work Dr. Oliver pointed towards a take away bag that was standing on the edge of the desk.  
''I picked it up at a coffee shop this morning. The coffee should be cold though by now.''  
''Well thanks.'' Luke walked over to pick up the bag and moved to the bed meaning to sit down.''  
‚''Actually I could still use some calm.'' Dr. Oliver had turned around on his chair and was looking at him through pinched eyes.  
‚''Would you mind leaving me alone for a while .''  
''Ok what's going on now?''

Luke shook his head frowning.

''Yesterday you sigh and scream my name now it's back to Mr. Snyder again?''  
''Well I could hardly have called you Mr. Snyder last night could I? Now would you mind?'' his voice began to sound impatient as he pointed his head towards the door.  
Luke lifted his eyebrows his lips moving but no words coming out. He briefly shook his head and walked outside pulling the door shut behind him.  
This guy was really too much for him. The way it looked he was actually going to pretend last night had not happened and Luke could not really figure out what to do with that. Still shaking his head in disbelief he sat down in his own room trying to figure out the situation.  
After having his sandwich and coffee he went to have a shower and picked out some decent clothes for the day.  
It was only 10.45 and he had no idea how to kill the four hours until the meeting.

______________________________________________________________

As they got out of the rental car, the midday sun was hanging right above them in a cloudless sky and Dr. Oliver cursed himself for having picked out such a warm suit. He slammed the door shut and reached up to loosen his tie.  
''Are you alright?'' Luke had walked around the car and was now standing right behind him, a worried look on his face.  
''Yeah. Let's go.''

Pushing through the waiting and chatting crowd Luke took a glance around. The conference room was brightly lit by at least a dozen halogen bulbs spread all over the ceiling and seemed to be pretty small for the number of people it was supposed to hold. Another thing that worried him was the fact that he could not see any handles on the windows and thus assumed they were not meant to be opened.

After what felt like almost an hour to Luke he dared to shift on his chair and dropped his gaze to the watch on his left wrist. It was barely half an hour into the hearing and his head was already spinning. There had not even been one single testimony yet but instead somebody was still explaining the case in every detail to the audience an Luke was not even sure that everything he said made sense.  
It was perfectly quiet in the room and he could only occasionally hear the sound of a pen scraping over paper.  
Carefully he turned his head to the right wanting to catch a glance at Dr. Oliver. His features looked tense and worried and Luke would have liked to encourage him in some way but all he could do was sit there on his side and wait for this to be over.  
After another twenty minutes the introduction was done and all eyes in the room turned to Mr. Judd as he gotup. From the corners of his eyes Luke could see Dr. Oliver gulp and exhale nervously. His glance was fixed on the man crossing the room and his features were not giving away any emotion.  
At the beginning of his speech the atmosphere in the audience did not change much. There was the same sterile silence in the air and bodies were sitting on their chairs straight and focused. He heard one of the board's doctors interrupt Mr. Judd's testimony to add some kind of medical expertise upon which thirty people began to search through their files causing a monotonous rustling of sheets.  
About fifteen minutes into the testimony Luke let his eyes travel across the room. The mood had changed now and a general concern began to spread through the crowd. Once again he looked over to the side but there was still no sign of any emotion displayed on Dr. Oliver's face. When he dropped his gaze Luke noticed that his chest was heaving under unusually deep breaths.  
After another twenty minutes and a much welcomed break it was finally Dr. Oliver's turn to testify and Luke followed him with his gaze as he walked to sit down in front of the board. Unnoticed by everybody else in the room he briefly looked over to where Luke was sitting. Luke immediately caught his gaze nodding slightly with the hint of a smile on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

''Can they really do that?'' Luke pulled the door closed behind himself and followed Dr. Oliver into the hotel room.

''It sure looks like it.'' Dr. Oliver dropped himself into the armchair below the window and placed his face in both hands. He briefly pressed one thumb into each temple before he looked up again and leaned back against the backrest.

''But that's insane. That's dragging this out unnecessarily.'' Luke walked up and down in front of the bed waving his hands angrily.

''They can do whatever they think fit to examine this case and if they decide they want to hear the testimony of the guy that assisted in the operation of Annie Judd then that's the way it is.'' Dr. Oliver's voice sounded weary and resigned,

''But that's not even relevant it has nothing to do with the decisions you made and won't help in any way to clarify whether they were justified. It's a completely incompetent decision.'' Luke held his steps and looked over to where Dr. Oliver was sitting.

''Well surprise, the qualification of a person is not always in direct relation to the positions they fill. Don't tell me you did not know that.''

''Do you think they did that on purpose. I mean they sure know that he is on vacation right now or could easily have checked.'' Luke shrugged and tilted his head, a skeptical look on his face.

''Honestly,'' Dr. Oliver got up with an audible sigh. ''I don't care. They are the one's holding the power and truth be told I know most of them don't like me so I would not bet my life on their integrity anyway. I'll go downstairs extend our reservation.''

''But if it's just about the problem they have with your attitude maybe you could just try to…''

''What? Try to please them by paying them some lip service. I don't think so I know I didn't do anything wrong and I am not going to play the role of the modest sinner they have prepared for me. If they can't handle that then it's none of my business. ''

Luke exhaled and licked his lips. He stood silently for a few seconds processing the words he had just heard.

When the ringing of a cell phone interrupted the silence Dr. Oliver ran his hands over his pockets and looked around the room to locate the source of the sound.

Luke pushed aside a few folders on the table and picked up the vibrating phone handing it over to Dr. Oliver.

''Ok. No I want to take care of that myself. Yeah I'll be there at 16.00. Then tell him to wait. Ok bye.''

He snapped the phone shut and stuck it into his right pocket moving on towards the door again.

‚''Dr. Oliver wait.'' Luke felt his heart race a little faster and he had to clear his throat before he could go on. The question had been bothering him all morning and now he did not exactly know why this had come out automatically so he would have to go through with it.

Dr. Oliver was standing motionless, one hand on the door handle looking back at Luke with an expectant, impatient frown.

''Are you really trying to pretend last night did not happen?'' Luke tried to keep any trace of emotion out of his voice and he tensed his muscles as he stepped a little closer.

Dr. Oliver let go off the door handle a surprised look on his face

''When did you get that impression?''

''Well.'' Luke shoved his hands into his pockets shifting uncomfortably.

''Since you did not mention anything and all it was just…weird.''

''So.'' Dr. Oliver tilted his head ''I think that's not necessary we slept together and that was it.''

He stepped away from the door again facing Luke

''I didn't intend at all to pretend nothing had happened. But I was not planning to pretend it means more than it did. Unless it means something else to you.''

''No. Luke's reply came out a bit too quickly.

How had that happened now? He wanted to get answers and now he was the one standing with his back to the wall.

''No. You're right it was just sex.'' Luke walked over across the room and opened his suitcase to look for something.

''Good.'' Dr. Oliver nodded and turned back again heading towards the door.

''That was quick.'' Luke looked up from his magazine as he heard the door open again only two minutes later.

''We can't stay here.''

‚'What?'' Luke put down the magazine and watched Dr. Oliver walk through the room picking up his stuff along the way.

‚''Why?'' He placed the magazine on the covers and got up.

‚''They're fully booked for tonight we should have told them yesterday already.''

''How were we supposed to know?''

''Just grab your stuff we're staying at my place.''

''You're letting me stay at your place?'' Luke's expression was a blend of unbelieving and amused.

''Well it would be a little impolite if after what you did for me I'd let you sleep on the street right?''

''Dr. Oliver.'' Luke stepped closer, a delighted smirk appearing on his face.

''You do know how to behave after all you just never show it. Don't worry I won't tell anyone I know you have a reputation to lose.'' Luke giggled to himself as he turned around to leave for his own bedroom.

The sky was already turning grey with the evening twilight when Dr. Oliver pulled into the driveway of his house. The meeting at Parkland Memorial had taken twice as long as he'd expected and he was just happy to finally call this day finished. He gathered his folders and cell phone from the passenger's seat and bent over to fumble for his key with one free hand.

After shutting the front door and carefully placing the shaky pile of folders on the dresser he was about to head straight for the kitchen when he saw Luke lying on the couch watching TV. At the sight he immediately held his steps and remained standing behind the door frame to contemplate the scene in front of him.

The flickering of the TV and a small floor lamp were the only light in the room. Luke was stretched out on the couch one arm between his head and a big blue pillow and the other one resting on his hip.

He had gotten rid of his suit and was wearing dark blue jeans and no socks. The edges of a grey shirt were showing from under a brown hoody and pushed up on one side so a small piece of his bare stomach was exposed. His gaze was focused on the flickering images and he seemed very relaxed. By the distinct heaving of his chest and belly could tell that he was taking deep and calm breathes. Leaning back he cautiously dropped the keys on the dresser beside the door and turned his head back to take in some more of this strange and yet so fascinating sight. If someone had told him six months ago that one day Luke Snyder would be lying on his couch in Dallas watching TV he would have thought it a threatening and now he could not look away from that beautiful sight.

When Luke shifted on the couch a few seconds later walked on and shouted a casual greeting as to pretend he'd just entered.

''Hey.'' Luke sat upright on the couch and reached for the remote control to switch off the TV.

''How did it go?''

''All today's formalities are taken care of and I also found out Dr. Mulligan is spending the weeks with his family at Key West. He'll take the first commercial flight out, if he makes it here by tomorrow morning they are willing to schedule his testimony at 14.30. Otherwise we'll have to wait another day.''

dropped himself on the armchair reaching for the TV magazine on the coffee table.

''The guy hates me already.''

''And now?'' Luke tilted his head.

''Now we wait.'' Dr. Oliver threw the magazine back on the coffee table and pushed himself up from the chair to head for the kitchen.

''I need to eat.''

Two minutes later he was back in the living room holding a bunch of take away flyers in his right hand.

He walked over to the couch and placed them on the table in front of Luke.

‚''Pick something.'' he said sitting down next to him on the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

Luke reached for one of the take away boxes in the middle of the table and used his fork to scoop some more fried rice onto his plate.

''So what did Dr. Mulligan say?'' he wanted to know his fork hovering in front of his mouth.

''He'll be on the 10.30 flight tomorrow morning.''

''That's great.''

''I'm not so sure.'' Dr. Oliver shook his head, looking earnestly worried.

''The guy has always hated my guts I would not count on his testimony to be the thing that saves my ass.''

''Why does he hate you?'' Luke looked at him directly.

Dr. Oliver just shrugged pushing around the rice on his plate as he was looking for another piece of chicken.

''So you're saying nothing happened in particular?''

,,No. It's just me being me and him not liking it.''

‚''Hmm.''

‚''What?'' Dr. Oliver looked up from his plate.

‚''Please don't tell me again I should try to be more likeable''

‚''You are.''

Luke smiled at the puzzled expression on Dr. Oliver's face

''Likeable. You just don't let anyone know and I wonder why?''

''Are you trying to take a short cut by asking directly or is this actually where your psychoanalyzing skills end?''

Luke caught his gaze, a confident smile on his lips.

''No actually I think I know'' He put down his fork and narrowed his eyes.

''I think it's because you can't fake.''

''Come again.''

‚''Your clinical genius that works strictly rational does not let you see the use in pretending or lying. Everything you say has to be the truth so if you don't like someone you see no point in making him believe the opposite.''

‚''There is no point.''

‚''Probably not from the rational point of view.''

‚''Oh and so from the social kind of view there is? To what purpose exactly? It's not like other's could not pretend just as well and are you even sure everybody who makes you believe so does actually like you?''Dr. Oliver paused a little dwelling on Luke's face and taking in the quickly changing expressions as his brain was processing thoughts.

Then he shook his head and picked up another fork of rice.

‚''It's better to be hated for something you are then to be loved for something you're not.''

Luke looked the man across the table up and down his head slightly tilted.

They ate in silence for a while until Dr. Oliver picked up the conversation again

''Did you actually bring enough of your medication for more than two days''

When he saw the questioning look on Luke's face he swallowed the rice and went on.

''The kidney transplant. Unless you're a walking medical wonder you need to take your pills every day.''

''Right I told you yesterday.''

''Well after last night I would know anyway. I'd be a lousy doctor to touch a transplantation scar and not recognize it.''

Luke's thoughts suddenly drifted off at the pictures that came back to his mind. Dr. Oliver's hands on his back running lower and then dwelling over the scared part of his skin.

''Mr. Snyder?''

Luke shrugged as his thoughts came back to reality.

''Yes I have everything with me. I always take enough for three times the time I plan on staying.''

''Look at you I would not have expected you to be that reasonable. ''

With a teasing smile Dr. Oliver pushed himself up from his chair and leaned over the table to collect his dishes and placed them into the dishwasher.

Luke watched him walk outside the door, his eyes dropping automatically down to the waistband of the dark blue jeans. His shirt was tugged into the pants and Luke noticed a lump building in his throat as he let himself imagine what it would be like to just pull it out from there and slip his hands beneath the fabric to run them over the warm smooth skin that had felt so good against his own last night. The only thing that was present in Luke's mind right now was the urge to follow him into the living room lie down on top of him and kiss him senseless but that was no option and so he would have to find a way to get a grip again.

He pushed himself up from the table and cleared the plate from leftovers to put it into the dishwasher his hands moving mechanically.

‚''Can I take a shower.'' he asked with a tense voice leaning through the doorframe.

Dr. Oliver just nodded his eyes glued to the TV screen.

''The towels are under the sink.'' he added briefly looking up.

The sound of the key turning inside the lock was the best thing Luke had heard in a while. He briefly leaned back against the door closing his eyes to exhale and then opened the shelf under the sink to grab a towel. As he reached down to undo his belt and pants the image of Reid doing the same thing not even 24 hours ago promptly appeared before his eyes and he shook his legs trying to get rid of the fabric and the picture at the same time.

The feeling of the hot water running down his back washed a little bit of the tension away with it but it still left the pictures just as vivid and tempting as they had been before. With an annoyed sigh he stretched out to reach for the shelf searching the bottles for the shower gel. A mix of arousal and bad conscious started to spin his brain and he began to think it would not work that easily to shake off the way he felt right now. When he closed his eyes he was almost sure he could feel Dr. Oliver's hand on his body again or his lips on his skin. Luke exhaled and opened his eyes again. There was no way this could go on he needed to get back his ability to focus. The desire and the sexual tension were fogging his mind and it made him extremely nervous.

Luke sighed and leaned past the shower curtain pushing down the door handle. When he was sure it was locked he pulled the curtain all the way back again and leaned against the cold tiles. He slowly let his palm slide down his stomach along with the stream of the water and bit down on his lip.

Luke pushed the wet strand out of his eyes analyzing the picture in the mirror. He suddenly felt unbelievably embarrassed and he was sure there had to be something displayed on his face, some sign that would immediately give him away when he was going to head downstairs again.

He let the towel pool at his feet and put his clothes back on. When he was done he carefully placed the towel on the radiator and bent down into the shower quickly scanning it. Then he went back to the mirror for another check and finally headed towards the door.

‚''Hey.'' Dr. Oliver lifted his head at the sound of the door and pointed it towards the couch he was sitting.

''Care to watch some TV?'

Luke nodded and squeezed past the coffee table, his gaze remaining glued to Dr. Oliver who was already focused on the movie again.


	5. Chapter 5

''I can't believe I let you talk me into this.''

Reid took of his jacket trying not to bump into the group of barely dressed mid twenties pushing through the door behind them.

''Ok it is a bit crowded but it's going to be fun.'' Luke shouted trying to drown out the beats of… that were hammering through the club.

''I was actually good with my snacks and TV'' Reid complained as he was pushed forward with the crowd.''

''No you weren't you looked terrible.''

''Well thank you.''

''Come on you can also worry here only with a beer and some music.''

With an surrendering sigh Reid followed Luke into the main dancing room. The kid was quirkier than usual he thought and he wondered what it was that put him in that lighthearted mood after such an exhausting and unnerving day.

''What would you like to drink?''

Reid flinched as Luke shouted into his direction a little louder than intended.

After he'd told Luke just to bring whatever he was having only with alcohol he made his way through the swaying bodies and sat down on a dark leather couch. Slowly he strong pounding beats and the vibrations from the music started to absorb some of his tension. With the multicolor light beams and the rhythmically moving crowd they added up to a nice hypnotizing whirl.

He let his gaze travel over the crowd and he could not help wondering how many of these ‚young adults' would be stupid enough to drive and drink or to have unprotected sex tonight.

As he turned his head around again he saw Luke steering through the crowd, both arms up in the air balancing their drinks. He smiled as he saw him roll his eyes over some teenage girl who would not move out of his way but was instead jumping up and down in front of her friends waving her hands in excitement.

Reid pushed himself up from the couch and could reach out just in time to grab Luke's shoulder as a heavily drunk young man squeezed past him, staggering towards the bathroom.

''And that's why I don't go out. People drive me crazy.''

Dr. Oliver grabbed the drink from Luke's hand and sat down again.

''What's the matter with you? I'm actually having a good time.''

''How can you have a good time with all those fools behaving like common sense was never invented?''

''Well.'' Luke leaned back and took a sip of his drink smiling brightly ''That is actually part of the fun. It's the atmosphere that makes it. Just lay back and enjoy it you might even end up smiling before the night ends.''

Both men sat side by side for a while just silently watching the dance floor. When he had finished his drink Luke leaned closer and held on to Reid's shoulder as he shouted into his left ear:

''Come on let's go dance.''

Reid burst into laughter over this obviously joking suggestion.

''No way''

''Come on isn't that why we came?''

''Come on'' Luke looked straight at him his eyebrows quirked in expectation.

''Mr. Snyder I can save us both time by assuring you that that's something you're surely not going to see happening tonight. But go ahead don't let me hold you up.''

Reid smiled to himself as Luke finally dropped the case and got up to head for the dance floor alone. Followed him with his gaze he let his eyes roam over the slender body .

He had never seen anyone look hotter in jeans and T-shirt. The outfit somehow emphasized his youth and made him look innocent and vulnerable and it made Reid's heart sink. Suddenly he was really pissed at Noah for making him suffer what he did. Reid took another sip of his drink and looked the other way as he tried to shake of those inappropriate feelings.

After all Noah was his patient and he was not supposed to feel anything about him let alone angry. Only a few seconds later his head turned back again and as he watched Luke move so smoothly a lot of other feeling he'd rather not have resurfaced. Suddenly his body was aching with desire. Not only the desire to posses his body but also the desire of having him around.

He could well remember the first impression that Luke Snyder had made on him and he could also remember that back then his presence made him want to knock his head against the nearest wall. But a lot had happened since then and now it made him feel at ease and very comfortable. Of course he had had his logical thoughts about what had happened between them but he began to not believe in them anymore. Maybe Luke was still in love with his ex and maybe said ex was his patient but there was no way he would keep away from him. After last night he was in no mood anymore to pretend he did not crave for him. There was no way he'd be one of those fools missing an opportunity dwelling on lame excuses. He wanted him and he would go after him no matter what the odd circumstances may be. Reid quietly finished his drink and then got up to walk towards the dance floor smoothly squeezing his body between the dancing crowd and Luke's.


	6. Chapter 6

Reid reluctantly let go of Luke's face between his hands to reach back and lock the door. As soon as he was done he reached out again burying both hands in the soft blonde hair. The vibrations of Luke's moaning into the kiss went straight from his tongue down his spine and triggered a firework in his lower back.

Keeping up the deep and hungry kisses and tugging at his clothes he walked forward pushing Luke towards the door of his bedroom. Luke was desperately clinging to a handful of Reid's shirt he had grabbed with both fists.

His head was spinning and he had no clue as to how to handle that much desire.

Noah had always been tentative even indecisive when making his moves but everything Reid was doing now was only sending one message: I go crazy if I can't have you right now.

Not used to being wanted so ardently Luke just kept clinging to Reid's body moving under his touches to help him strip him or give him better access. When he was completely naked Reid pushed Luke down on the mattress and frantically struggled out of his own clothes to crawl on top of him only a few seconds later. He grabbed his face and pressed their lips together sucking Luke's tongue into his mouth.

Luke reached up to bury his hands in Reid's hair and spread his legs to allow him to shift into a more comfortable position.

Luke threw his head back and closed his eyes as he felt his world shatter. So far Reid had only kissed him and he was already a will-less puddle of craving and desire. Slightly shifting off the quivering body beneath him Reid let his free hand roam over every part of skin that he could reach. Luke slung one leg over Reid's thigh to urge their hips closer together and grabbed his shoulders, his fingers digging into the soft flesh almost painfully. Reid bent down to suck at the skin of Luke's neck and squeezed his hand into the small space between their erections grinding together.

His touches were as erratic and frenzied as his breathing and he had to stop all too often to gasp for air as he kissed his way down Luke's chest.

There was no way this could be a slow session of making love. Reid dropped on his side pulling Luke with him and entwined their legs as he leaned over to reach for the nightstand. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind what if he had never done it. After all he was really young and had only had one lover before him. He turned around again searching Luke's gaze.

''Luke you have had someone inside you before right?'' he was still breathing heavily but made sure not to rush out the words to much.

Luke just nodded shyly and a tender smile appeared on Reid's lips as he studied the slightly embarrassed look on his flushed face.

Getting himself ready with a few skilled and hasty movements and bent down for another deep kiss before he started to push into Luke's body. He struggled to keep his eyes open taking in the expression on Luke's face as he began to thrust. With a lot of self control he managed to keep his first thrusts slow and cautious but soon his urges took over and he began to move fast and frenzied.

He heard Luke exhale sharply every time his hips thrust forward.

''Open your eyes.'' he whispered through his own moaning as he leaned down closer to suck on Luke's earlobe.

The sight of it tore through his whole body like a flash and he had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to get a grip again. He bent down capturing Luke's lips in a short almost violent kiss. Too soon he had to pull away again to shift into a position with better leverage. As the rest of the world moved out of focus he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the sound of Luke urging him on and the feeling of his fingers digging into the skin of his back.

The pressure of his fingertips became even stronger as he threw his head back and cried out as he came, Reid's name on his wet kiss swollen lips. Reid only needed a few more thrusts to follow and after his own climax he just collapsed on Luke's body resting his spinning head against the sweaty hot skin of his shoulders. Luke's chest was heaving under his deep breathes and his head was resting against the pillow.

Reid rolled on his side pulling Luke with him and reached behind his neck to pull his face closer. Before he kissed him again he took a moment to admire the expression on his face. His gaze was dreamy and unfocused with his eyelids half shut and a blissful smile on his lips.

Luke let Reid kiss him for a while until he broke away, his gaze focused this time. He tilted his head and smiled slightly before he spoke.

''And what does this mean now?''

''What does it mean for you?'' Reid dragged out the words his voice still a bit husky.

''It means it was amazing and I want it to happen again and again.'' Luke leaned in for a lazy afterglow kiss.

''And again.'' He added as he dropped himself back on the mattress.

''Good cause it definitely will.'' Reid pushed Luke on his back covering his body with his own as he reached out to brush a strand of Luke's hair out of his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**I know it's been a while since I updated this one but that's also why this chapter is a bit longer.**

**Like I said since it has been some time, let me know whether you are still interested in this story cause at the**

**moment I am not sure which one to continue.**

Luke remained still for a moment and took a deep breath as he stepped out of the building. Finally some silence and fresh air.

The second session of the hearing had taken forever and he had seen Reid's mood change from bad to worse with every minute Dr. Mulligan had dragged his testimony out.

Now he was rushing towards the car and Luke had to practically run again to follow him.

''I never thought I would say this but this public show of incompetence those amateurs just pulled off in there makes Oakhell look professional .''

Reid threw his files onto the backseat and slammed the door shut.

,,Should I drive maybe.'' Luke leaned on the passenger door looking at him over the roof of the car.

''Absolutely not. I need to give my brain something to do if I ever want it to reach it's normal thinking level again.''

''He really doesn't like you.'' Luke reached back for his seatbelt as he spoke.

Reid just let out an annoyed groan as he tugged on [i]his[/i] seatbelt that had got stuck around the drivers seat.

''But you know.'' Luke paused and shook his head as he watched Reid start the car.

''I think it is for a reason. I mean I observed him and the way he acts it's pretty clear what it is about.''

''He's just plain stupid that's all.''

Luke shook his head.

''There's more to that.''

''Enlightend me then.'' Reid turned his head to watch the flow of traffic as he pulled onto the street.

''His jealousy is killing him. I watched him with everybody else and it's evident that he is the king of the crowd.

I mean he sure knows how to small talk and socialize and he might be ten times as appreciated among his colleagues but deep down he knows it's not because of his professional skills.

The one thing he really wants is to reach your skills and he knows he'll never will.''

''I think the guy is just an idiot.'' Reid shrugged not looking away from the street.

But Luke just shook his head.

''And you know what sends him of the edge?'' he paused and turned his head to give Reid and expectant smile.

'' The fact that you don't even care.''

Knowing that Reid was not really in the mood for talking anymore now Luke turned around again and leaned his head against the window was windy and unusually bleak for 5 P.M. in the afternoon. The sultry heat from today's sun was still hanging in the air and seemed to be trapped between the streets and the dark , heavy clouds hanging in the sky.

The wind had become stronger and in the distance he could see the trees swaying with it. The line of cars was slowly creeping forward towards a huge roundabout and as he looked up he could see the beacons of a nearby landing strip glowing against the grey sky.

The drive around the airport junction was a little more fluid but as soon as they'd reached the freeway it was dense rush hour again. Car's squeezing onto the 4 lanes from several directions.

Luke heard an annoyed sigh and trough the corner of his eyes he could see Reid drag a hand over his face. As he looked at the window again his gaze was caught by two women in the red car on their right. They were both in their twenties he guessed. The one with the long black hair was waving her hands ,obviously trying to get a point across. Her friend looked focused but also very confused. Or maybe the two of them were lovers? Or sisters?

While he kept watching them , trying to figure out what they were talking about the queue moved forward and the red car was replaced by a black BMW driven by a man in his late forties. He was wearing a suit and his tie was loosened. Suddenly Luke remembered how he had always watched people or how a few months back certain situations just started telling him stories and making plots develop in his head. The next car was a dark red jeep. The woman behind the wheel looked tense and worried and he wondered what had happened to her or what options she had now to make it better.

''I'll be in the shower.'' Reid dropped the files he was carrying onto the dresser in the small hallway and headed straight for the the way he took of his jacket and threw it over the handrail.

Luke slowly turned the key in the lock, listening to the sound that so strangely thrilled him.

He carefully placed it on the key board and headed straight for the living room where he'd left his lap top the night before. Going over the table and shelves he started looking for pen and paper. Suddenly his gaze was caught by a medical reference book and he just picked it up from the shelf. He turned it around and ran his hand over the soft covers of it. Wondering what Reid must have looked like in his early twenties when he was a student and suddenly the pictures appeared before his mind.

Reid sitting on the kitchen table, his hair wet from a shower he'd just taken. His notes and scripts spread all over the table along with some snacks probably crisps and cookies. He was focused on working on his notes while he watched dinner cook on the stove. Probably he was sitting in the kitchen because he didn't want to be crowded by his roommates who he most likely did not really get along with.

Luke nearly dropped the book as he opened it and tried to catch a small piece of paper that was sliding out from between the pages.

I love you.

The note simply read and he could not tell whether it was Reid's handwriting or the one of another person. So it must have been during college Luke thought. The relationship he had mentioned the night they'd been out at the bar. Not wanting to have to explain his curiosity he quickly placed the sheet back inside and put the book back on the shelf. He picked up an orange pen with the logo of Parkland Memorial and headed back for the kitchen.

Reid pulled the door of the bathroom shut behind him and walked over to the bedroom. The warm water had eased the pain in his aching muscles a bit but his mind was still just as tense. As he stood in the middle of the room not really knowing what to do next the pressure in his chest seemed to weigh him down and he dropped himself on the edge of the bed.

He felt every nerve and muscle in his body and he started to name them silently trying to get something else than fear into his mind.

Dr. Mulligan's appearance had been a much too real personification of what he despised so much in men. Usually he was way above it but in moments like this it made him literally sick that even among educated people sometimes popularity seemed to count more than skills.

It was something he would never understand and he'd never be able to put up with.

Here he was sitting now, wishing for tomorrow to be here already and yet that tomorrow could be the day he'd lose the only thing that had ever mattered to him.

This would be the first time in his life he'd have to make a compromise and knowing how much he hated it, he already knew that it would kill him.

Lost in his thoughts he had not noticed Luke walking past the bedroom. At the sight of the half open door he'd stopped and instinctively peaked inside. Reid was sitting on the bed, his back straight as an arrow. His forearms were resting on the white fluffy towel that he had slung around his hips and his gaze was unfocused and fixed onto some imaginary spot on the white walls.

Trying not to make any sound Luke shifted on his feet as his features turned into a worried frown. He had seen him tense and edgy in the last few days but somehow this was something else.

Even though he was standing in the hallway Luke felt that he could sense the despair radiating from this exhausted body.

Without doubt this was not something he allowed himself very often Luke thought and for the first time since the malpractice suit he was really worried whether Reid would be able to do this.

His brows still furrowed with concern Luke pushed the door open and walked inside the bedroom with a few hesitant steps.

''I'm tired.'' As soon as Reid had noticed the presence of someone else in the room his features changed again. He made a movement to get up and walk away when Luke sat down beside him and grabbed his arm forcing him to stay seated and look at him.

Not letting him look away, Luke waited until the attempted pokerface had disappeared from his features and then leaned in to just very slightly kiss him. Only lips on lips.

Reid closed his eyes and let Luke push him on his back.

As he felt the firm mattress against his shoulders and spine and Luke's body weighing down on his own a little bit of the tension disappeared and he let his eyes fall shut.

The kisses felt tender and soft. More lips than tongue and unlike the ones shared on the days before they spread a warm feeling in his chest instead of his groins.

Between the kisses Luke stopped every now and then to just look down at him, and it almost felt like those warm brown eyes glowing with the shine of the bedside lamp were able to suck the pain out of his chest.

When he felt the body underneath him relax Luke intensified the kisses and began to run his hands over the still wet skin. With a soft movement he undid the towel and slid his hands between Reid's legs. Stroking him at a slow, regular rhythm he bent down to breathe soft kisses along the line of his neck. After Reid had climaxed with a low moan on his lips Luke wiped the sticky fluid on his fingers against the towel and tossed it onto the carpet.

With the tension released Reid's mind was suddenly hit by ten hours of missing sleep and two day of exhausting testimonies and he drifted off to sleep before he could even open his eyes again.

Spooning the naked body Luke wrapped the covers around them and slid his right hand past the waistband of his pants to give himself the realease that he needed.

Slowly and with his arm dragged down by a heavy tiredness Reid reached out to snap open his cell and wondered why it kept ringing.

As the sound slowly became louder he noticed the he was being pulled out of a dream.

With a hectic leap he straightened up on the mattress and grabbed the covers o wrap around his waist.

Luke stirred at the unexpected movement and groaned as the peaceful state of sleep was interrupted by the distant sound of a voice. He crawled up against the head of the bed reluctantly opening his eyes.

The room was dark with the evening twilight and occasionally lit by the lightning flashing outside the window. He heard the rain tapping against the window pane and from the sound of it he guessed that it had to be pouring outside.

In the bathroom he could hear Reid talking on the phone. He strained his ears but he could not recognize from the tone in his voice whether it was good or bad news.

Two minutes later he was standing in the doorframe only the hint of a smile on his lips that Luke loved so much.

''I'm reinstated.'' He simply said with a neutral tone in his voice but Luke could read in his eyes that he was beyond relieved.

Smiling back at him he moved the covers aside and waved his head towards the empty side of the bed.


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing he noticed as he slowly woke up was a strange feeling of irritation and discomfort. With his mind shaking off the veil of sleep the pictures began to reappear and then he could suddenly remember very clearly again.

He had dreamt of his first time with Noah only this time it had been Noah making all the moves, coming on to him. Coming on to him with the same words on his lips, that Reid had used in the night club two days ago.

At first he was too puzzled to move, freaked out by the absurdness of that dream, so he just dropped on his back again staring at the dark ceiling. Occasionally it was lit by the lights of a car that passed by on the street. By the thin frequency of traffic he guessed that it had to be in the middle of the night and he slowly rolled on his side to catch a glance at the alarm clock.

03.45.

Luke remained motionless on his back for a few more minutes listening to the regular breathing coming from the other side of the bed hoping he would just fall back asleep if he pretended he had not woken up at all.

Like usually it did not work and so he rolled on his right side crawling closer to the warm body he was so forcefully drawn to every time he got within touching range. Reid's naked skin was radiating with the sleepy heat that had build between the covers and his body and Luke couldn't help but just reach out and touch him.

Even in the almost dark he could see the well defined muscles of his back and the delicious shape of his slender body. Reid stirred in his sleep and Luke startled at the sudden impression. As he wanted to move closer to kiss the warm soft skin, the pictures of his dream suddenly appeared before his mind again and he pulled away rolling himself off the mattress and on his feet.

Trying to be as quiet as possible he felt his way around the unfamiliar furniture and bit his bottom lip just in time as he hit the foot of the bed full speed.

''Dammit.'' He breathed out with a pain filled sigh as he leaned back against the door of the bathroom.

When he looked down he noticed that it wasn't bleeding but both toes were glowing red and he was sure they would be all kinds of bruised by tomorrow morning.

Still cursing walked over to the window and opened it to breath in the fresh and cool air. The thunderstorm had cleared it of its stickiness and it smelled of rain and wind.

Squeezing onto the window bench he sat down and leaned back against the open window. His gaze was immediately caught by the blue neon sign of what he guessed was some kind of motel and remained glued to it as he starred out into the dark city night.

As soon as the sleepy void in his mind was replaced by unwelcomed thoughts he got up again and closed the window to head down for the kitchen.

He fumbled along the wall to find the light switch and squeezed his eyes shut at the intrusive brightness. The fridge was humming with a monotonous sound and the light of the dishwasher was blinking.

Not knowing what else to do he just walked over and started to place the clean dishes into the shelves.

When he was done he opened all of the ones that he had not used and briefly scanned their contents.

Then he walked over to the living room back to the shelf where he had found the medical reference book. He picked out another one and sat down on the table to leaf through it. The pages looked used but not still tidy and occasionally there were a few side notes written onto the paper.

Knowing that it was probably not a good idea he got up and searched for the book he had found the note in. He carefully picked it out from between the pages and sat down on the table again. It was not the same handwriting than the one in the book so he guessed that it had to be from Reid's college boyfriend.

Suddenly he wondered whether Reid had ever told him that he loved him or whether he would even consider saying it to anyone for that matter.

Something he had learned about him was that he was not one to play games and that he meant everything that he said but did he also say everything he meant?

After all telling somebody you loved them was taking down the last wall of defense and he was not sure at all Reid would ever do that. For anyone.

Realizing how intrusive he was actually being he quickly gathered everything he had spread on the table and placed it back to snap open his laptop instead. Even though he could have fallen asleep now he did not want to go back to bed. During the last three days he had begun to feel really comfortable in this house and he just wanted to be here a little bit more before he would have to leave in the morning.

He would have liked to stay longer and find out more about what was stored inside those walls telling a story about a life he knew so little about.

As soon as he had opened the document he had started earlier that afternoon he began to feel a strange twitching in his stomach. He read the lines on the screen and for some reason they did not feel authentic anymore. How could he not have recognized that that was not at all what he was trying to say when now it was so obvious.

After he had selected all and hit the erase button he tried to rephrase his thought but in his mind he couldn't find anything but the pictures of the dream he had had earlier and the really uncomfortable feeling they started to infect his whole body with starting from the pit of his stomach and spreading throughout the rest.

Through his sleep Reid could hear the door open and when he looked over his shoulder he saw that the other side of the bed was empty beside him was empty. When he felt the mattress sink in with the weight of another body he shifted under the covers and placed his hand on Luke's stomach.

''You're awake.''

Reid opened his eyes surprised by the tense and weary sound of Luke's voice.

''What's wrong.'' the words sounded sleepy, rolling off his tongue in a monotonous tone.

''I feel weird. I couldn't sleep and then I tried to get up and write, that used to help in the past but somehow this time it made it worse.''

''You sound tired.''

''I'm exhausted.''

Reid pushed himself up on one elbow and slid his body over Luke's to kiss him. For a moment he thought he felt him relax but only to feel him tense up more a few seconds later. Reid pulled away and dropped his head back on the mattress, pacing his left arm on Luke's pillow just above his head.

He entwined his fingers in the blond hair to play with the soft strands and tenderly caress Luke's head with his fingertips.

The soothing sensation eased the pressure on Luke's chest and he felt his body sink deeper into the mattress with every breathe. Slowly the worries began to fade and made way for the intense tiredness to pull him back into sleep finally. When he felt he was just about to drift away he rolled on his side and snuggled up against Reid's chest waiting for him to put his arms around him.

Reid shifted his body with hectic impatient movements, desperately trying to find a more comfortable position in the typical claustrophobic device that was a plane seat. Maybe it was a private jet he thought but it was still a plane and he had always hated to squeeze his body into those terrible seat rows.

The newspaper had stopped being interesting half an hour ago and so he just rested his head against the window staring at the white clouds reflecting the sunlight.

Only ten minutes into the flight he had noticed that Luke was unusually quiet and if it had not been for the huge bags under his eyes and the face he had pulled at the sound of the alarm clock this morning, Reid would have been seriously worried. But like that he had just stopped talking when he'd noticed that Luke was struggling to keep his eyes open. As soon as his attention had not been required anymore he had just kicked off his shoes into the aisle and crawled up against Reid's shoulder.

Blended by the bright sunbeams Reid turned his head again and looked down at the huddled up sleeping body beside him. The position looked painfully uncomfortable and he wondered how Luke could sleep like that at all.

Something was strange about him he thought. Normally he was really not one to catch subtle vibes from the people around him whatsoever but normally he also didn't give a damn.

However something about Luke's behavior this morning had seemed weird to him and he couldn't help wonder what was going on and what had happened to him since he had seemed perfectly normal the night before.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke turned the key inside the lock and threw his travel bag over the doorstep.

''Mum?'' He asked into the empty living room and it merely took Lily Snyder a few seconds to show up, much to Reid's regret.

''Hey honey how was the trip? Oh hello Dr. Oliver I didn't see you. Come in.''

_Awkward_ he thought but followed Luke into the house as he stepped over towards the dresser getting rid of his keys and jacket.

''Sweety, Noah called twice this morning asking me when you'd be back again. He didn't sound very well I think you should call him back soon or maybe you go see him right away.''

Luke nodded, hoping that his mom would not insist too much.

''I just really need to shower and eat first.''

From the corner of his eyes Reid could see Luke's mother preparing to drag the conversation out when he heard the phone in the kitchen ringing.  
Smilling at both of them she turned around to leave them alone again. Only that it didn't stop feeling awkward like he had hoped it would.

''Would you like to stay?'' Luke offered, his voice sounding really insecure all of a sudden.

He pointed towards the couch hoping that the way he was feeling didn't show on his face.

Maybe it was something about the house or his mom or maybe the mentioning of Noah but something strange was hanging in the air, wrapping around his senses in a way that it completely blurred his mind.

''I can't I have to head straight to the hospital. Come over to Katie's place tonight.''

Reid reached out for Luke's face to place the palm of his hand on his left cheek as he leaned in to kiss him. The change in Luke's expression and the very slight flinching went straight to his brain and pulled the subtle sensation of worries that had begun to wrap around his stomach during the flight a little tighter.

''My parents.'' Luke couldn't really bring out more words and he hoped that it was enough information to get his point across.

With the closeness that had developed between them during the last days still present in his mind, the distance of this situation was only emphasized and it felt particularly weird. Reid nevertheless briefly ran his thumb over the soft skin before he pulled away and turned around for the door.

''You can still come over tonight. Anytime you want.'' He said looking back at Luke who had not moved from the spot where they had been standing.

As Luke walked into the kitchen a few minutes later Lily was still talking on the phone. Wanting to be gone before she was done he grabbed some ice and a plastic bag and headed upstairs for his bedroom.  
Just like he had expected his toes had already taken several shades of blue and red and he had to bite his bottom lips as he tried to remove his right shoe.

At first the cool was stinging and uncomfortable but then it began to cover the pain and made it easier to breathe again. Trough the tilted window he could hear the sounds of gardening and birds and he dropped himself back on the bed trying to figure out his next steps for the day.

First a shower he thought, then maybe he would grab some take away on his way to the hospital and then he could visit Noah. But what about tonight? Could he really just go over to Katie's house and…

In Texas it had been so easy. Just him and Reid and he could act on everything he felt. Pretend that it was really just them. Only it wasn't. That was just part of the truth and everything that had flooded his mind and senses since he had gotten off the plane in Oakdale seemed to pile up to a huge much more real truth zooming everything that had happened in Dallas way out of his sight.

* * *

His hand already lifted above the door handle Luke paused and leaned over to peer through the window. Noah was sitting in his bed his back supported by a couple of huge pillows his arms placed above the cover aligned over his legs.  
His eyes were open wearing the typical unfocused gaze that Luke had got used to during the last months. By the furrowed brow and the rest of his expression Luke could tell that he had to be pretty unhappy and tense.

Apparently he was listening to some music on his I pod. Without his own notice Luke's expression changed to mirror the frown as he turned back to open the door.

''Luke?'' Noah immediately reacted to the sound of the door.

''I thought you were listening to music.''

Noah shook his head still not smiling only slightly.

''I turned it off it… I dunno it got me in a bad mood.''

''What's the matter.'' Luke sat down onto the bedside chair trying to ignore the pressure building in his chest.

''I don't know. I'm really scared and I feel kind of lonely. And it just feels terrible to be here waiting for the surgery tomorrow with so much time to think.''

Luke reached out for Noah's hand as he tried to start a comforting conversation. He knew that what was ahead would probably also take a great toll on his own nerves and emotions but Noah was scared and hurting and obviously needed someone. And so he just swallowed past it and tried to be as cheerful as possible.

* * *

''Hey.'' Luke spun around at the familiar voice that pulled him out of his racing thoughts.

''I'm just going to hit the locker room to change and then we can leave.''

Reid had already turned to walk down the corridor and Luke followed him automatically.

''What's wrong?'' Reid paused for a moment to scan the strange expression on Luke's face before he put on his shirt. Since they had gotten on the plane Luke had spoken what he normally spoke in one hourand even though he still tried to pretend it might not mean anything it began to make him nervous.

''I just went to see Noah.'' His tone was flat and defeated.

''And?''

''He started to cry when I had to leave.''

''With you still in the room?'' Reid frowned as he changed into his jeans. _Had Noah not just pushed him away telling him not to hover and then replaced him with some guy he had just picked up somewhere and now he wanted to guilt trip him again?_

Luke quickly shook his head as to get rid of unwelcomed thoughts or images.

''He probably thought I was already gone?''

''No that can't really be. He hears well enough to tell the difference? I think you were meant to notice that.''

''What's that supposed to mean?'' Luke's voice immediately changed from beat to irritated.

'' I'm just saying that if that was me and I really loved you I would definitely wait until you are gone unless of course I don't care about your feelings a bit and _want_ you to have a bad conscious on my account.''

''Yeah but you are cold.'' The words came as an automatic response.

''Excuse me?''

Luke shook his head as he noticed how the words had come out.

''I didn't mean it that way I was just saying that…'' Luke paused, looking for the right end of the sentence.

''Not everybody can control their emotions the way you do.''

Reid frowned. Something about the way he pronounced control was weird.

''You can't blame them for that.''

''Nonsense.'' Reid shook his head. ,, Nobody hast o be ruled by his emotions most people just don't want it any other way and then they complain when they get in their way.''

Luke looked at him strangely now, his hands tucked in his pockets.

''Emotion are all fine and wellbut they should never be the base or sole reason for something let alone a long term consultant. Dwelling on them can get your whole life out of track before you can watch it happening.''

''Just listen to you talking. That's not natural.''

Reid swallowed hard as the words sunk into his brain.

''Well I guess that was not meant as a compliment.''

Luke twitched his lips as a shadow crossed over his eyes. This conversation wasn't at all going the way he wanted it to.

''It's just so different from what I…''

''Look you can't let your guilt and pity for others control your life. What good is that going to be for you, or anyone else for that matter? Noah's feelings are not your responsibility.'' Trying to wipe off the stinging feeling Luke's words had just triggered, Reid made another attempt to get his point across.

''But I could stop it.'' The words sounded almost pouty and still very heartfelt.

Reid snarled, a half bitter laugh on his lips.

''Don't you see that that kind of logic fails itself?'' But he changed his attitude when he noticed that luke was really not looking good.

''Luke.'' His voice softer again, Reid reached out to stroke Luke's cheek in an attempt to calm him down a little.

Luke shook his head again this time his expression was very close to crying.

Starting to brush his thumb over Luke's cheek Reid looked into his eyes until the shadow seemed to have disappeared and then leaned in to kiss him.

''I can't do this.''With a small but definite step backwards he pulled away from Reid the second time that day.

'' I can't have a good time and fool around while Noah is suffering knowing that I could stop it.''

''I guess that's where this ends then.''

Reid saw the tears building in Luke's eyes and he was sure he did not want to that now so he just waited for the nearly invisible nod and turned around to leave the locker room.


	10. Chapter 10

''Wow you look bad.'' Katie eyed her roommate up and down as she walked into the kitchen, her heels clacking on the tiles of the floor.

''I know.'' Reid was leaning against the counter his left hand supporting the weight of his body while he rubbed the bridge of his nose with the free one.

''What happened?''

''Nothing.'' He turned around to watch her pick a few items out of the fridge and spread them over the kitchen table.

''Luke Snyder?'' She asked with a suggestive tone in her voice?

''What gives you that idea?''

''Well two things happened in your life lately. You got sued for malpractice and you fell for Luke Snyder. With the lawsuit off the table and you reinstated I'm guessing it's Luke then?''

''I didn't fall for him.'' Reid reached for the shelf behind him to grab two cups. He poured them both a coffee and sat down across Katie placing hers in front of her. The sunbeams radiating trough the window made him squint as he reached for the sugar.

Katie just kept staring at him for another few seconds until she finally went on with her inquisition.

''I already know that much so might as well tell me the rest.''

''There is nothing to tell.''

''Yeah I can see that.''

''The last few days were exhausting why can it not be just that?''

''I can tell the difference between emotionally and physically drained.''

_God that woman was stubborn. He knew that Luke was related to her in some kind and made a note to find out whether it was by bloodline._

''So?'' She stopped making her sandwich and tilted her head to the left.

''It's not very spectacular. He stayed at my place in Dallas. We slept together a few times I thought it was going somewhere. But then he discovers he feles too guilty and calls it off. Now he's back together with Noah… Or not.''

Reid shrugged. ''Who knows?''

''May I?'' He pointed his knife towards the butter.

''You slept with him?''

Obviously Katie's start into the day had just become more interesting or at least that was what the inquisitive sparkling in her eyes said.

''Yeah; could we not talk about that now anymore please?''

* * *

The sun was hanging at the highest point of a clear blue sky mercilessly pouring it's sticky heat down onto the oldtown of Oakdale, warming the skin of scarcely dressed pedestrians. The scenery was completed by an old man playing some kind of musical instrument, obviously hoping to make money in spite of that terrible noise he was making.

Kids were screaming, their shrill voices drowned out by the yelling of their overstrained parents and through one of the back roads a motorcycle passed by, sounding like a bomb that would not stop exploding.

Reid rolled up the sleeves of his grey sweatshirt hoping to release some of the sticky heat that was building between his body and his clothes.

He lifted his fork and briefly closed his eyes pressing his thumb and index finger into his brow. Unfortunately with his sight shut his ears only zoomed in on the terrible blend of noise and so he opened them again only to see Luke standing in front of his table.

''May I?'' Luke dropped himself on the free chair.

''Why do you even ask?''

Reid made no effort to hide the fact that he would have liked him to leave.

''I would like to explain a few things to you.''

''You don't have to explain anything. We fucked a couple of time now we stopped. You made your point. I got it.''

Luke briefly seemed a bit taken aback by the unexpected choice of words but quickly got ready to talk again.

Reid shook his head to cut off the next attempt before it could get anywhere.

''Really Luke you don't have to explain yourself. I'm good.''

''But you're obviously pissed.''

''So?'' Reid pulled a face and looked directly at the younger man across the table.

''I hate to break it to you Luke but you will have to piss off one of us. Or what are you going to do now? Tell me what I want to hear. But then Noah is going to be mad at you and obviously you can't handle that either.''

''Why are you so hostile?''

''I'm not. I would just very much like to have my lunch in peace now. Please don't make me walk away and steal Al's plate.''

''Why don't you hear me out?''

''Because there is nothing you could say to explain the situation in a more effective and clear way than you already did. Ergo you came here to appease your conscience and I am not willing to give you a hand at that.''

Luke searched Reid's gaze, trying to find out whether insisting on the subject was going to get him somewhere but then quickly decided that he'd better postpone the matter.

With and annoyed sigh Reid reached for his fork again as he watched him get up and leave.

* * *

If there was anything he was used to than it was dealing with 3 hours of sleep a night. If necessary for a very long period of time but something about this tiredness was different. He wasn't looking forward to going to bed tonight, truth be told he didn't even particularly care.

Just like he did not really care about what was on TV right now. He tossed the remote control onto the coffee table and leaned back against the headrest of Katie's couch.

If only he didn't have that much free time. He knew that everything would be just fine if he could work around the clock but this unproductive sitting around with nothing to do he really cared about , it just made him crazy.

Work was the only thing that was stronger than this longing for Luke's body in his arms. That longing that kept nagging at his guts the minute he had nothing productive to do.

It kept flooding his his entire body, spreading from the pit of his stomach where it built every time he just remotely thought of him. In moments like this he could physically feel his absence and he could have kicked himself that he had allowed himself to even get there.

Luke wasn't here with him and instead of taking that as a fact and moving on like he always did his feelings seemed to be stuck somewhere in the past. In Dallas where they had shared those wonderful days. This was one good example of irrational and it pissed him off that he was giving it.

By now the longing had changed into a twitching and his stomach was almost hurting at the thought of how much he would like to make love to him now. Really make love to him and not just take his body for the heat of the moment. They had only done so little and there was so much more he wanted to do to him, do with him and watch his body react to it. He was not even close to having seen enough of his devotion and responsiveness. It killed him to think that the few days in Texas might remain all he would ever get.


	11. Chapter 11

Luke tried to raise his ribcage against the suffocating heat weighing down all over the room. It was four in the afternoon and it was unbearable inside and outside the house. But at least here in his room he was alone and could finally focus on finishing and sending all the E-mail for Grimaldi shipping before he would leave to go see Noah in half an hour.

Since the surgery had gone well but the difficult recovery had left Noah feeling very bad and shaken he tried to squeeze in a visit of at least three hours every afternoon and would sometimes even stay the night.

Luke closed his eyes again to make sure that he was really alone and nothing but productive silence around him.

The last hour he had spent downstairs in the kitchen, explaining to his mother in several different ways how Noah's surgery had gone and where their relationship was now heading and what else was going on with him. None of them subjects he liked to think about let alone discuss but that had never bothered anyone in his family anyway.

So he had just answered Lily's questions one after the other, eyes glued to the wall clock worried for every minute going by that he could not use to get forward with his work.

After a quick check through his mailbox he saw his suspicion confirmed. Again no answer from the two business partners who were supposed to have gotten back to him two days ago. So no answer needed.

He clicked on the logout sign and let his fingers hover over the keyboard for a brief moment. Finally he scrolled back to the search engine and automatically typed the words 'Bob's old Factory Grill' into the search window. The name of the bar he and Reid had dinner on their first night in Dallas.

After going through their website he typed Parkland memorial and then Dallas. He took ten minutes to look through a few pictures of the city before he closed his laptop to head for the hospital.

* * *

Through her lingering sleep, Katie dragged her steps towards the kitchen and reached out for the light switch. When she noticed the light coming from the kitchen she dropped her arm and leaned against the door to push it open.

''You're up?''

She looked at Reid who was standing in front of the counter obviously waiting for the coffee machine to get ready.

''And you're having coffee.'' She added, turning her head to get a glance at the wall clock.

''At a quarter to midnight.''

''I'll take it to the hospital. I'm doing the nightshift.''

''But you already…''

''I know.''

''Isn't that irresponsible?''

Reid shook his head as he picked up the small thermos jug and poured the coffee inside.

''Trust me it's not. Staying here and throwing a no sleep all pity party would be.''

Katie walked over to the fridge and opened it to take out the ice cube tray.

''I know what it is like if you lose your grip because your dwelling on an emotional state and I don't wanna go there.''

Katie looked at him through her sleepy eyes.

''When I hear you talk like that I sometimes think you're not even human.''

''That would make two of you this week. Oh no wait I think the words he used were cold and unnatural.''

''I did not mean that in a bad way.''

Katie had dropped the ice tray and stepped closer obviously really upset at the thought that she could have hurt him.

''I know. Don't worry.''

To make sure she was reassured he kissed her on the forehead before he left and then turned around in the doorframe.

''You should put your nightgown into the freezer before you go to bed that does a better job.''

* * *

Reid stuffed the pen back into the pocket of his scrubs and was just about to turn around the corner

when he saw Luke's body squeezed into an armchair into the waiting area of the surgery block.

His body was huddled up into a very uncomfortably looking position and obviously he was asleep.

Reid walked over and called his name to wake him up.

When there was no response he stepped closer to gently touch his shoulders.

''Luke.'' Raising his voice a little this time he bent slightly forward.

Luke's just briefly opened his eyes and then let them fall shut again without even trying to find out where the sound came from.

''Snyder.'' At the more irritated voice Luke kept his eyes open this time and struggled into an upright position.

''What are you still doing here?''

''I was staying with Noah but I had to come out here to work on the laptop.'' Luke pointed his sleepy head towards the side table where a laptop was lying covered by several lose sheets of paper and a pen.

''It's not a very healthy idea to kill your nights here at the hospital. Go home.''

''I can't sleep anyway.''

''Yeah I can see that.''

''I'm gonna go back to Noah's room.''

Luke grabbed the headrest of another chair to steady himself as the floor started to spin under his steps. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to move the walls into their right position again in his head.

''No you're not. You're coming with me. Grab your stuff.''

Too weary to protest Luke just grabbed his laptop and followed Reid trying to step only on the steady part of the floor.

''Sit down.''

Luke dropped himself on a chair, following the order that was spoken through a wall of pain and slumber. The light in the break room was dim and much better for his headache then the bright neon flash in the corridor. Through a tilted window he could feel a cool brush of air and only now he noticed how stuffy it had been in the waiting area.

''Does it help?''

Reid placed a mug and a bottle of water on the table and sat down across Luke.

''What?'' Luke reached out to wrap his hand around the cool bottle.

''Beating yourself up like that. Following yourself destructive pattern. Does it take away some of the guilt because you'll never be what Noah wants you to be?''

Instead of the usual defiance that would follow such a question there were just a pair of brown fogged , resigned eyes staring at him.

''I'm too tired to fight with you.''

''That's not what I'm up to. I want to know why you're doing this.''

'' Doing what? I'm trying to be there for Noah. No you're not. You're afraid to be what you want to be or think you could be and that's why you are desperately trying to be what he wants you to be knowing it'll be a lifetime job.''

He paused for a moment waiting for any kind of reaction but obviously Luke was really too beat.

''It's easier to leave the responsibility to him right?''

''What do you want from me? We're not involved.''

Reid shook his head. ''But that doesn't mean I don't have the right to tell you when you are being stupid.''

''I'm tired. And I have a terrible headache.''

''No surprise. When was the last time you drank something?'' Reid pointed his head towards the still untouched mineral water.

''You should really be more careful especially with weather conditions like this. You seem to tend to forget that life with a transplanted kidney is not quite the same as with your own.''

On that cue Luke slowly opened the bottle and poured himself a glass of water.

''Drink it up you'll feel better and then sleep here on the couch.''

Reid got up and bent down to open a drawer beneath the TV.

''I'll give you a ride home when I leave after my shift.''

He placed a folded woolen blanket on the table and turned to walk away.

When he had reached the doorframe he turned around again and let his gaze rest on the slender body huddled up on the table before he closed the door behind him.

It was the heat that woke Luke up a few hours later. He shifted on the couch to struggle the blanket off his body and rolled on his side to hug it instead. Not really wanting to wake up all the way he just briefly opened his left eye. The window was still black and the light was even dimmer than it had been before. Coming from the table he could hear the sound of a scraping pen and when he lifted his head he saw Reid bent over the table, working through some files.

Still half asleep he dropped his head onto the blanket again and listened to the sound as it lulled him back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everybodyThis is the 12th chapter and can also be considered as the final one for that matter.  
Originally I had planned to keep this an ongoing story and make it much longer but then I started too many stories at once and ignored a few writer's blocks and other things on the way, which lead to a complete writing burn out.  
I hate to give it up cause this fic really is my baby but at this point I have no other choice.  
Anyway I have been thinking about giving up writing and publishing for a while now and made the decision final about a week ago. However I did not want to leave all those of you that like my story and followed it, hanging in the middle of a plot so I decided to at least write a final chapter.  
I would also like to use this opportunity to thank every single one of you who took the time to leave a note of feedback. It was very much appreciated.  
It was a pleasure writing this story for you.**

''I think we should definitely go now. This doesn't look like it's gonna stop.'' Luke leaned forward to get a better glance at the rain that was pouring down on the steaming concrete.

They had been waiting in the lobby of the conference building for over ten minutes now watching the soft summer spray turn into a raging waterfall.

''The car is parked three streets away we'll be soaked by the time we get there.''

''I'm tired of waiting here. Let's just go.''

Luke grabbed two leaflets from the reception desk and handed one over to Reid while he unfolded the other one to hold it over his head.

''Ready?'' he asked as he held the door open.

''God I hate Oakdale.'' Reid let the water pour off the leaflet before he placed it on the floor of the car and reached back for his seatbelt.

It was merely the fifth sentence he had spoken this afternoon and most likely not the invitation to start a conversation for the ride home.  
The raindrops gathering on the windshield turned Luke's view of the street into a blurry mosaic and he squinted to focus on the lights of the car in front of his, about the only thing he could see in the clouds of spraying water.

After all the listening and talking he had had to do during the last days he was grateful to for the silence that now spread inside the car. Even if he was not sure whether it was just Reid's ususal grumpiness or whether he was still really pissed at him.  
This way at least Luke could just focus on the music and on the difficult driving conditions and finally get his brain off wire for once.

Twenty minutes later he pulled into the driveway of Katie's house.

''See you tomorrow.'' Luke waited for Reid to get out of the car his foot still on the pedal and the engine still running.

''You should come inside and put on some dry clothes.'' Instead of getting up Reid had turned around to face him.

''It's ok it's only 15 minutes drive.''

''Still it can make a difference. You should really learn to take better care of yourself.'' Reid looked at him expectantly his hand holding the door handle of the car.

_Hell who cares why he wants you to come in, you don't want to leave him yet. Go already._  
Pretending it wasn't for that thought flashing through his mind Luke just nodded and shut off the engine.

''Yeah it's probably not a bad idea after all.''

After he had gotten rid off the soaked shirt Reid immediately walked off to the bathroom leaving Luke standing in the middle of the living room wondering what he was supposed to do next.

Just a few minutes later he was back rubbing his hair with a towel and throwing another one into Luke's direction.

''Just leave the wet clothes here. And put this on.''

Stepping closer he held out a pair of jeans and a grey sweater to Luke.

Still a little uncomfortable to be there Luke got rid of his shirt and nearly dropped the clothes as he reached off for them simultaneously. Next thing he knew Reid was almost standing on his toes, his face just an inch away.

His wet hair was clinging to his face and the raindrops were glistening on the skin of his bare chest. He could easily have taken a step back but instead he just remained glued to the spot and did not look away from Luke's gaze that was fixed onto his face.

Before Luke could even think about just moving away himself he felt his eyelids flutter and his lips part automatically and he didn't even notice how he took a step forward. The next breath he drew in smelled of rain and wet skin and Reid. His presence was the most natural thing Luke had felt during the last days and he could just not bring himself to step out of this intimacy that made him feel so comfortable.

Reid's blue eyes were sparkling under the wet eyelashes and he was looking at him with so much tenderness and lust that it nearly broke his heart.

_Just let the rest of the world disappear_. Luke silently pleaded as he reluctantly tried to pull himself out of the mesmerizing moment.

_Please let it be just us._

Reid was still standing there just looking at him and his gaze started to burn through his skin right into his body where it spread a warm fuzzy feeling. Luke lifted his gaze away from the raindrops on Reid's chest to lock eyes with him again. Just looking at him spread so much heat and tingling in his body that it was nearly unbearable but he could still not turn away.  
Through the silence that filled the room he could hear Reid's breathing and he half closed his eyes to focus on the sound and the scent of Reid's body as he finally stepped close enough to kiss him.

But then suddenly something was different and through his half open eyes he could see Reid flinching.

''Don't do this.'' Was all he said as he stepped out of Luke's personal space and held out the jumper and jeans building up an arm length of distance between them.

Luke wanted to say something but his brain had not caught up with the new situation yet and so he just silently grabbed the clothes.

Reid now had turned away and was walking back towards the bathroom.

''Wait.'' Luke jumped forward and grabbed his arm turning him back to face him.

Reid looked at him for a few seconds and then opened his mouth to talk, his lips moving so seductively like they always did when he spoke.

''What do you want?''

The sudden swing of emotions and the sharp awareness that this was for real, that Reid was pulling away from him putting up the walls again, that he was actually losing him had shaken  
Luke's guts and he had to catch his grip before he could speak.

''Just you.'' It was all he could say before his lips started trembling and the bottled emotions were fighting their way to the surface.  
The tears were now already in his eyes but he drew in a sharp breath to continue talking.

''Please tell me I didn't mess this up.'' Luke let go of Reid's arm and took a step back.

''It's the most amazing thing I have ever felt with somebody.'' The thin voice sounded whiny and helpless and perfectly matched the expression of a pale weary face.

''I really just wanted to do the right thing. Please tell me I did not ruin this.''

Not sure what to do Reid just remained silent watching the features on Luke's face change and the tears wet his eyes until finally placed his palm on his flushed cheek.

''You didn't.'' he said as he reached out and pulled him against his chest.

The minute he felt their bodies connect Luke completely let go and once he had, everything that he had been twisting and turning his guts lately flushed away with a stream of hot tears dripping onto the bare skin of Reid's shoulder.

Adding a heartfelt sobbing he let them flow knowing that Reid was just standing there holding him.  
His brain was burning with tears and tiredness and through the sobbing he started to lose his orientation, just feeling the arms around him that were keeping his heart from falling apart.

The knowledge that they would shield and steady him for as long as he needed it made him let go completely.  
The violent sobbing made the headache even worse but there was no way he could stop before it was all out of his body and away from his mind.  
When the crying had become silent Reid started to gently sway him and whispered a few words of comfort into his ear.

As he felt him breathe even and calm again Reid let go of the embrace and leaned in to kiss the tears away from his cheek.  
When he was done he cupped Luke's face with both hands and just looked into his eyes.  
They were pink and narrowed by swollen eyelids but the golden brown was till so intense that it nearly stopped his heart.  
The kiss was cool and wet in contrast to the feverish skin of Luke's cheek pressed against his own. With the shutting eyelids the tears caught in the corner of Luke's eyes were squeezed out.  
The hot liquid ran over their noses and finally got caught between their lips mingling with their saliva that now tasted hot and salty.

Letting go of Luke's hair Reid very slowly lowered his hands running his palms over the wet and feverish skin of Luke's shoulders and back. Still dizzy from the crying and the tiredness that had spread in his mind Luke just enjoyed the tender touches and walked into the direction he was pushed.

Reid let go of Luke to lock the door of the bedroom and then walked back dropping his hands to undo both their belts seductively slow, deliberately not going for another kiss. He wanted to look at him in the grey blue twilight that filled the room. Wanted to watch him get out of his clothes and lie down on the bed. And then watch the expression play around those beautiful features when he would take his sweet time to cherish his whole body with his lips and hands. Watch his eyes turn darker with desire and watch his lips part longing for another kiss

The sheets felt cool and clean against the wet and sticky skin of Luke's back and he slightly shivered for the brief moment it took until Reid was stretched out over him covering him fully with his weight.

Just one more deep kiss he could not resist and then he rolled on his side pulling Luke with him. He placed a palm on Luke's back and gently pulled him yet closer.

The tingling started in his shoulders and spread over his whole body following the trail of Reid's palm and was completed by a rush of fire everywhere Reid's lips and tongue slid over his skin. After a while the caresses stopped and now it was just his tongue. His tongue licking and kissing away the rain and sweat from his skin and the pain from his heartToo lost in the sensation to move Luke only clung to Reid's back breathing his arousal and bliss against the naked skin of his shoulder.  
Desperate to touch Reid's body Luke finally forced his hands between them anywhere they could reach. He took a few moments to trace the muscles and scrape his fingernails over the soft flesh of his stomach.

Before he could even reach further down he was pushed onto his back again and Reid was kneeling between his legs, kissing his was down.  
Luke started to moan as he arched his back in anticipation. When he felt his tongue on the tender skin below his navel his hips began to buck automatically and Reid had to push him down against the mattress with a firm grip before he covered Luke's erection with the heat of his mouth. Luke let go of the world and enjoyed the sensation for a moment. He would have loved to come in his mouth but tonight he desperately longed for something else.

''Reid.'' Luke paused shortly to catch his breath. '' Please fuck me.''

Reid pulled away and leaned down for another kiss before he grabbed lube and condom from the bedside drawer. After preparing himself with the usual movements he bent down for another deep kiss and finally he positioned himself on his side behind Luke. With a soft brush over his thigh he pushed Luke's leg forward and entered him slowly. Before he started to move he wrapped his arms around his chest and placed a small kiss on the back of his neck.

Luke whimpered at the unexpected pause and tried to push his hips back against Reid's body.  
The urge to thrust was nearly unbearable but Reid wanted to make it last as long as he could and he wanted Luke to feel every inch and every second of his movements tonight. Wanted the tension to build painfully slowly and listen to Luke's sighs on his way to his release.  
To steady himself he reached for Luke's hand and entwined their fingers before he finally started to move inside him.

Those were the only moments Reid allowed himself to completely let go of himself and he had never felt as safe with that as he did right in that moment.

* * *

Luke placed the wet towel on his shoulders and opened the bathroom window to let out the steam from their shower.

''I'm hot.'' He complained, leaning out to catch some of the cool air.

''Tell me about it.'' Reid cracked a dirty smile and walked closer suck on the skin of Luke's neck he had just exposed by tilting his head.

''I mean it.'' Luke made a playfully annoyed face as he walked away from the window again and aimed the used towel into the bathtub.

Despite the thunderstorm that had cooled down the night, the stuffy heat was still trapped between the walls of the house and it was unbearably warm.

''Excuse me…'' Luke made an attempt to squeeze past Reid towards the door. ''I have to go stand in the garden for a few minutes before I can even think of sleeping.''

''Are you sure you don't just want to give the neighbors a show of your incredible body in a bath towel?''

''No that would be you.''

The cool and wet air almost flowed into his lungs with every breath, unlike the sticky cover that had been hanging over the town during the last days. The heat was still lingering around but at least there was a fresh wind blowing every now and then. The breeze cooled down his skin every time it blew through the wet strands covering his neck and forehead.  
The bathroom window looked like a glowing orange square in the dark house front and behind the glass he could see Reid's silhouette silently moving.

The only sound he could hear was the engine of a train coming from somewhere behind the black trees and he closed his eyes to fully take in the peaceful moment.  
Luke took another few deep breathes and when he was sure his body was cooled down enough he walked back inside the house his lips still curved into a smile.

Through the scarcely lit corridor he sneaked his way back to the bedroom. Reid was standing at the foot of the bed wearing only PJ bottoms and carrying a new set of sheets on his arm.  
Luke silently watched him change the sheets and then walked in to wrap his arms around him from behind. Reid leaned back into the hug and then turned around to kiss Luke on the lips.

Then he walked over to open the window and stretched out on the mattress.

The fresh covers felt clean and soft against Luke's freshly washed skin and he pulled them over with him as he snuggled up against Reid's bare chest.  
With the nightfall complete the heat was finally disappearing and the breeze coming from the window almost made him shiver.

As he felt Reid's arms wrap around his body he moved even closer to him. Already a little bit sleepy he placed his left hand on his stomach and began to lazily caress the edges of the muscles as he waited to fall asleep.

Listening to the sound of the rain on the roof Reid started to rub Luke's arm and softly kissed the top of his head.  
For a while they just lay there in silence, somewhere between awake and asleep, occasionally exchanging a lazy kiss until Luke's touches were interrupted by long pauses and his breathing began to even.

Keeping up the soft and tender touches Reid pulled him yet closer and placed a soft kiss on the top of his head

''I love you.'' He whispered the words into the blond hair beneath his face, in such a low voice that Luke could not have heard it even if he had been awake.


End file.
